You Know You’re a Professional

By Bob Comeans

You know you’re a professional magician when,

You travel to Homer, Alaska for a family vacation to see some favorite relatives. You end up doing a magic show for them and their friends because they know that you’re currently touring all the local venues back home as a comedy magic entertainer. One of their friends happens to be a third grade teacher at the local elementary school. Before you know it, you’re setting up your show for the entire third grade at Paul Banks Elementary . Of course, this is Homer, so that’s only about 25 kids.

They don’t have a dime to pay you. But, the teacher’s husband is a commercial fisherman just in from a trip. She offers 20 pounds of fresh salmon. Seeing how salmon was retailing at about $30.00 a pound that summer you make out pretty good. Not sure how her husband felt about her generous offer, but I sure had a nice lunch.

You know you’re a professional caricature artist when,

You are asked to draw caricatures at a small church supper in South Georgia. You like to do the right thing so you agree to attend. You enjoy a quick supper and start to draw pictures of the congregation. The pastor, who invited you in the first place, walks up with a smile on his face, as he enjoys your artwork.

They don’t have a dime to pay you. But, the pastor owns an oil change shop in town,, did I say this was a small church, and he offers you a couple coupons for a free oil change. Seeing how you got four cars in the driveway you make out pretty good. Maybe if I draw one more picture he’ll throw in a free tire rotation.

You know you’re a professional PA announcer when,

You are asked to announce football games at your son’s high school, mainly because you volunteered and nobody else did. You are pretty good at talking and everyone likes your play calling. You discover you have a good voice for it, kind of a cross between Tom Bodett folksy and Barry White sexy. Not quite sure that’s what they wanted, but you gotta play to your strengths. They all start to recognize your voice before they recognize your face, which I guess could be taken as a compliment.

They don’t have a dime to pay you. But, the athletic director is also in charge of concessions and tee shirts. At the start of the season he offers you a free tee shirt in your normal size and some concession products during the games. Seeing how you like to eat as much as the next guy, you end up working your way thru the entire menu over the course of the season. Not a bad deal, but now I’ve got to get a bigger tee shirt.

You know you’re a professional when, sometimes, it’s not all about the money.


2 thoughts on “You Know You’re a Professional

    1. bobcomeans Post author

      Three things a real man would never turn down! Thanks for reading. (I had 22 aunts and uncles, 13 cousins, and a whole lot of family gatherings!) Bob


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